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Elie et dieudonné — Transcript · YTtoTranscript

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Elie et dieudonné

fefereggae21 · 1,599 words · 8 min read · EN

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Below is the complete, readable transcript of Elie et dieudonné by fefereggae21 on YouTube. Read the full text, copy any part you need, or generate a transcript for any video with our free tool.

[Music] Well, uh Nicole, as you know, this weekend with Pierro, it's fishing, fishing, fishing, fishing, fishing, right? That's where I put my shrimp jacket. There, I hear Pierro coming from knocking. How are you, Pierro? Hey, my dear. Shut up . Is that okay with you? Yeah, man . They are in the car. Come, come, come, come, come.

Super super young girls. Yeah, there. So one is 16 years old and the other is 15 years old. Okay, okay, okay, okay, you took the strong protons [Laughs] what did you make condoms with? Yeah I bought a box for 250 euros, I don't know if it's okay, who are you going to [ __ ] the little

asses, who are you going to [ __ ] how Nicole? What do you mean, Nicole? Well, Nicole isn't at her mother's house. No, her mother is better, that's why. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes. Good for you Nicole, you're kidding. When he told me that, I was blown away. Damn, you... Oh well, that's great, that's great.

Nicole rightly pointed out to me that she wanted to come and that she ardently desired to come fishing with us this weekend. So I told him that it shouldn't be a problem in principle. Uh, you just had to, and here Nicole, I would ask you to pay attention my chick, find out from Pierro because he

is the specialist in rough weather. Uh, so Pierro, uh, I'm asking you this question, completely ashamed. Is it possible this weekend? Wasn't it possible for my tax situation? So, Nicole, I would ask you to pay attention this weekend, that weekend. That 's what this weekend is all about. Be careful this weekend Nicole, don't say I didn't

warn you. Oh no, that makes you laugh, Nicole? But beware! Ouch! Oh no, not this weekend! Oh wow, bad weather, you weren't aware. But Sylvain, the guy from EDF, he left last night. Oh, but I didn't know that, Pierro. I'm learning this and I didn't know, and I swear to you, as a No, you're

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laughing at me there and you're joking with me there. I'm not joking with you, and in all honesty and respect . You think so? I swear, I swear, my wife too, of course. I didn't know that if Roger didn't call, Roger didn't have to call us. Oh, you bastard, I didn't know that. You know that

Sylvain's wife got hit in the face with a cane. Not possible. Wait, are you kidding me? But I swear to you, R, my Pierro there. She's in the hospital, she's got phlebitis. They don't know if they'll be able to save his dough, you know. But I know, no, I don't think you were

absolutely right, Pierro. So at that point, it changes all the data of the problem. Listen to me carefully, Pierro, I'm going to ask you a question. I will absolutely ask you very soon, uh, I would like to have a personal interview with my wife. Okay then, make your face. You don't even need to

ask me that kind of thing. Um Nicole, as head of the family, I have to make a serious decision for you. Nicole, as much as you know I would love for you to come fishing with us, but no, that's not going to be possible, my little chick. That's a negative no. So. I don't

think that's reasonable. I think, I think, that's it. No, at some point you have to be reasonable. Quite. I think we're adults. For what ? Why don't you think Nathalie is coming ? Well no, I don't know . You see, I didn't even ask Nathalche about my wife, you know how we are, we're just with each other, huh. You

know how we are. Well, you said it yourself, it happens to you while fishing, you Ah or well I told Nathalie, if one of us has to leave, I prefer it to be me, okay? Because you can't replace a mother for a child , that's not true. Have you thought about your kids? What's going on

in your heads, you two? There are two of us in a turret. Well, that's good then. That's good, here you go. Oh, I adore you. Come on, let's break the average. It's necessary, right? I love you, my little chick. How's it going, Nicole? Jean Jano Jano. Excuse me, excuse me for forcing your

hand a little here, but yes, yes, we don't want things to move around on the motorway like idiots acting important. Yeah, it's always the same mess with you. How's it going, Nicole? I can't hear what you're saying, my little chick. How come there are two young girls waiting downstairs in front of Pierro's car? Oh, but

I don't know, my little chick. Yes, I think it's best to ask the person in question. I completely agree. Excuse me, I didn't hear Nicole's questions. What's wrong, Nicole? Well Nicole, even though it's been noticed, the title is right . Yeah. Uh, apparently there were two young girls. Yeah. Of the female sex, is that it?

Who was waiting downstairs in front of your car? So I don't know what he's like . I'm going to tell you, yeah. You do n't know the best one, do you? But I know that. Yeah. I'm telling you, what's this all about in Pir? But that 's not possible. But tell me I'm

dreaming. That's not true. We are in the 20th century. That's not true. I knew it was going to be a shock for you. What ? A guy called me yesterday. What ? Yes, so wait for the guy, I'll pick up, you know I'm just getting off work . I'm dead . Bonche the device. Yes. The

guy introduces himself, basically. Oh my god, but I am, but I am, but Bobby, but we are in the 20th century, Pierro, I remind you. The guy keeps saying yes yes, he's starting to annoy me, yes I don't know what. My name is Paul Pool, what? I don't know Eve or Adam, and

Nicole is a witness. I take responsibility for you. But I am, but you know, but oh my god, wait. Yes, yes, the guy tells me I saw you at a fishing competition with your friend. Not at all, and for one thing, I'm telling you, not at all. Listen, he would have crossed paths with us, he said to me, "Well, you have

a great can." Okay, let's see, let's see the professional. He told me we were doing a report on big game fishing. I want to do a story on you. I want to get a close-up of you. I'm going to have you first, discover you and me. But you know, yeah, I do the same as

you. I do the same as you. I laughed, I called, I was there. I won't take it, I'll take something like that. No, but that does n't make you laugh, Nicole. Okay, uh, but what's the matter? What ? And no, but be careful, it can be confusing, so wait, this morning, this morning, but no, because

the worst thing this morning, he told me, " I'm sending you two reporters," and yeah, I go down to the garage this morning, I open the garage door, two reporters, they were in the car, she was behind, uh, in the car inside, she was half naked, two young girls, you understand, you understand something, you or what, not at all,

but I'm, but you know, but I'm, but wait, you can be confused, but be careful, of course, that's what I said, that's what I said to Nathalie, huh, so be careful Nicole, listen carefully, yes, I, I say Nathalie, listen carefully Nicole. Oh, careful, there's the joke and then there's fishing. OK, no confusion. No, I want

you to laugh, Nicole. But be careful. OK. I think, I think it's the best of all. Wait, Pierro, I just had an idea. Yeah. The two young girls, uh, we're on the highway. Yeah. We agree . Yeah, but yeah. All right. Uh, at one point you say, "Yeah, I need to get some gas." Yeah. For

example, for example, don't listen carefully, okay? Uh, I say, "Hey, would n't you like to buy me a little something then, okay?" Then the two young women get out and off we go , off we go, we head for the highway and that's it, we're rid of them because it's... it's a shady deal

. It's political, it's obvious. Uh, of course, because in the end, who pays? The taxpayer. Go ahead, I'll pay. Go ahead, I... How can you, Nicole, be a fool? Okay. Pierro, I think you've fooled us enough. If you want to cheat on Nathalie, that's your problem. In any case, I find your attitude disgusting.

I'm disgusted. Pierro, disgusted, I was too naive. I'll wait for you in the car. Yes, shut up in 10 minutes. Your Shut up. It's not what you think, Nicole. I really do n't understand this. Is your wife going through menopause or something ? Nicole, can you believe it? A friend of 15 years.

Listen to me carefully, Nicole, I'm going to make you a promise like I've never made before. Pierro, we're going to get him out of this mess whether he likes it or not. Pierro, don't play dumb. [Applause]