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How To Create The Life You Want — Transcript · YTtoTranscript

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How To Create The Life You Want

Myles Dunphy · 5,137 words · 26 min read · EN

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Below is the complete, readable transcript of How To Create The Life You Want by Myles Dunphy on YouTube. Read the full text, copy any part you need, or generate a transcript for any video with our free tool.

what's up guys welcome to a kind of special video i guess uh it is currently where's the time can you see that it's about just past 5am i'm here in my hotel in athens near the airport i'm actually flying out to one of the greek islands to do a rock climbing course uh so i've got a flight soon but i'm

kind of jet-lagged and i thought i'd film this video for you guys [Music] how to live the life you want to live i hope you enjoy the video if you aren't subscribed you know this is a bit of a different video to what i normally put out in my channel but uh do

hit that subscribe button if you want to learn about amazon fba making money online fun stuff like that and click the notification bell as well anyway let's get into this how to live the life you want to live so i want to start off by saying that first of all like i'm no expert on this i'm

not a life coaching expert i you know i teach people how to make money um which is not necessarily living a good life but it is related to it and so this is just a this is a very personal thing this is how what's worked for me right this is the way that i've done it

and and continuing to do it because it's a pathway right i'm not the at the end of the journey but these are the three things that taught me or helped me to learn how to live a good life the life that i wanted to live and got me down this pathway that i'm still in today the

the first thing that i want to talk about the first thing that helped me start to live the life that i wanted to live was reflection and journaling so the idea with reflection and journaling is that you're able to really get your thoughts down on paper and clarify your thoughts and it's only by doing that that you can

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actually even understand what is the kind of life that you want to live and there are so many different ways of doing this but if you boil it down to its most simple it's just like put your thoughts down on paper and then work out what is good and what is bad for you so whether that's environments

like the environment you're in the the job that you're working the office that you work in every day just like write your thoughts down about what happened in that environment what was good what was bad overall was it a good thing or was it a bad thing and then day after day after day you do that and you start

to build up this a real picture of what is not just your conscious mind but also your subconscious mind telling you about that particular environment and you don't just stop there it's not about just your workplace it's you know what about the people in your life the relationship environment that you live in are those people adding to

your life are they sucking away from it and if so why you just got to keep going down the rabbit hole with these things you know there are so many different ways of doing it again the way that i actually started doing this was way before i made any real changes in my

life i can't remember how i found this but it's this website called futureme.org and basically the way it works it's just like an email sending service with one little twist or one big twist which is that you so you write the emails you can send them to yourself you can send it to

anyone again just like your gmail inbox but the twist is that you can set a future date to send that email and so i found this again i can't remember why but like it was more than 10 years ago i started writing these like firstly short emails to myself and then scheduling them to send them

like you know six months 12 months into the future and then when i received that email it was like a delayed like like a time capsule about what i was thinking about in you know a year ago six months ago whatever it was and so i mean i've got this up here and

basically in these emails like again i started sending them when i was just a uni student when i was broke but i would i would encapsulate it's like in this moment what am i what was i looking forward to what were my motivations what was i excited about what sucked for me back then you know

what was my financial situation like what were my goals like i'm looking at it right now so like i was a uni student i was actually in debt you know like so i meant my net worth was below zero but the first one that i ever sent to myself was the very first thing that i talked

about was actually money and i was like how much money do i have saved up at the moment uh and 2 900 australian dollars and 900 worth of camera gear that i was selling and flipping and like trying to make money on and i just talked about you know i was working a part-time job i was like

you've been taking some time off i hope you've gotten back into it because you really need the money right now so i mean i would send these quite often and again it was like just almost gives me goosebumps thinking about it like just a capsule into your your life what it was like what

were you feeling what was the environment like what was good what was bad and i didn't know it at the time i just did it because it was fun and it was nice to like to revisit those memories but i kept doing this and i've been doing this up until today and including

today i've got emails coming to me in the future and it's all about it's all about clarifying the things the people the environments that make you feel good bad the things that you want to work towards understand like what that actually is for you that's the first step so start doing reflection start doing journaling

um nowadays so right i mean right now i'm actually using this what's it called the five minute journal which is pretty good it basically i'll show you like really simple i mean to be honest you can probably just download this template but that's what it looks like so it's it really focuses on like positive things

so it's got what are you grateful for what could make today great uh daily affirmations which is affirming a part of your character like who are you and then just some good things that happened in the day it's good it's a good structure i actually i use it because i really like using a pen and paper um but to be

honest for practical purposes if you're using reflection and journaling as a way to again to work out what is the kind of life that you want to live i actually prefer to do it on my computer because i can make it open-ended and i can give myself whatever prompts that i want to be

answering and making sure that i'm thinking about every day again because the goal is to live the life that you want to live and so sometimes you want to focus your thoughts on the things that are going to make you actually like conscious of that so this is what i've been using right

now but again it's just the the most important thing here is just doing it having this some sort of process where every day in the morning whether it's 5 a.m or you know you can do it um at night you don't have to do it every day to be honest you can do it once a week once a

month once a year whatever it is but these are the things that i ask myself now when i do journaling on my computer so i've got um this is a daily thing it's like how am i feeling what is this moment like what do i doubt fear or worry about right now so that's

you know again that's like the just a status check and then what are the bad things that i'm worried about just to get them out as well so i can feel better about the rest of my day uh what happened yesterday good and bad again it's the separation of good and bad and

then doing the evaluation of realizing like why is this thing bad why was that a negative experience rather than a positive experience or verse vice versa why was that something positive how did that make your life better you know just like getting that out on paper what am i looking forward to getting joy from so again that's the

positive that's my motivations my excitement what in the future is driving me to to get to the future basically and then what am i grateful for whether it's with myself where i am someone in my life again it's about evaluating what are the things that you are happy to have around you and then what am i here to do so i won't

touch on this too much but what am i here to do and some of these other questions uh it's really about your identity your character your personality understanding what that is too because that it's this cycle where your environment and the things that you have in your life both define who you are and then who you

are controls like what you want in that environment as well so understanding what am i here to do what is my purpose who am i what do i stand for why am i here on this earth really helps to inform that sort of question another last part of this this is something that i

only added recently um that's super valuable is how would the best version of myself approach today and then lastly like sort of like feedback questions how closely will my actions model this or did my actions model this if i'm doing it afterwards this again goes back to having an identity understanding who you are what

is your identity and then modeling like that person if this was this ideal like dream world what would that person do and then you always have this standard that you can ideally reach or if not like strive to reach anyway those these are some prompts i use now um but the idea is journal reflect be in

touch with who you are what your identity is what you stand for what's the gap between those things and like what you enjoy as well and then with your current environment and that will inform you know your thoughts and stuff when you when your emotions when you write it all down and you start to build up this big

picture of like how who what sort of life should i be living and then how can i live that life and that's not like a magic quick fix solution i like i said literally i started doing this it's now 11 years until today 11 years ago and i don't think that i had this process or even

really understood what the purpose was for probably most of that time to be honest second thing is understand how your mind works and i really had to go through quite a long process of understanding my mind my personality and particularly psychology i really had to understand that because you know like i'm a technical maths kind

of like what is that left right brain i don't even know but it's one of the two and i'm very far on one side and like for example i'm a really big introvert i had to understand introversion and how that part of me worked because you know i'm not the first introvert i'm i'm not the only

introvert um and so there's there's knowledge out there about like how you know what drives introverts differently to extroverts what is introversion what does that actually mean and therefore like what should i expect my reactions to particular stimuli and circumstances to be what are the things that i can do as an introvert to make my life more enjoyable

again live the life that i want to live for that specifically it was quiet by susan kane that was a really sort of eye-opening book and a lot of these they just make you understand the way that you think about things the way that you feel about things in your day-to-day life getting the knowledge through books

mainly getting that knowledge will just give you so much more it's conscious awareness of like who you are and how you react to certain environments so susan kane's book really helped me understand that there wasn't anything wrong with me i was just normally surrounded by extroverts and so of course the way that

they would react to things and the the things that would energize and motivate them they were just different to the things that would energize and motivate me there was no problem with any of that it was just like i had to know that that was the case and i i figured that out by getting the

knowledge by reading the book another one was i think it's called no it's called mindset by carol dweck so i'll leave the link down below or i'll leave the actual book title down below i think it's called mindset and that is about growth mindset that was another really just big blind spot that i had because i grew up i

academically for most of my life throughout school i had done really well and i'd also been sort of like brought up and raised to almost have that expectation that like academically i was you know i was gifted i was a good student but i had a fixed mindset where i thought that that meant that life would

be really easy for me and i thought that that meant that i would fail less this book taught me that it's not about being gifted it's not about failing less it's actually about failing mourns it's growth mindset and these things by the way i mean these are books that i read for myself they may not be the books that

you need to read to help you understand how to live the life that you want to live but again these are just books that help me and i think that because psychology really does transfer to i mean obviously to all of us books about psychology and understand how your mind works are probably going

to be very useful to you growth growth mindset again super important is understanding it's understanding that it's actually about the more you fail the better you do you will succeed or rather like success comes as a result of failure it comes as a result of many failures not as a result of minimizing failures

so that was just another book super super insightful for me once i understood it thinking fast and slow by daniel kahneman so that is all about mental biases it's about the fallibility of our brain and how we think that we think really well but we actually think not very well i i i won't go into it

more than that but thinking fast and slow by daniel kahneman was a real eye-opening book as to like you know it's like i want all these things and i'm trying to achieve them i have goals i'm setting for myself um i'm thinking about problems like why is it that i don't think correctly about

this problem or why is it that the thing that i think doesn't end up happening and there are so many different ways the book just talks about like it must be like dozens and dozens of ways in which we think we think well but we actually don't really good book sapiens i've got

here by yuval noir harari i don't know if i'm pronouncing that correctly that's not so much about psychology but it just helped me reconceptualize the entire world basically and just realizing i won't get into it but that was one book that really helped me understand the world it really helped me understand the environment that i live

in one other book that i read more recently but i want to lump into the same category of just like really important books for knowledge about understanding how to live a good life that one is atomic habits by james clear i mean essentially we who we are is the actions that we take

and the actions that we take are pretty much controlled by our habits so if you loop that back the other way if you want to live the life you want to live then you need to understand that i mean you need to take the right actions to live that life and to take

the right actions you need to put in place the right habits so this book is the best book i've ever read about habits there's another one the power of habit by charles duhigg but atomic habits is much better it's much more actionable and essentially that will just it'll give you a real roadmap not just a roadmap but like an

actual game plan to set up to have firstly understand which habits do you want to focus on then setting up the environment to actually create those habits and be able to execute them sustainably and therefore if you set up the right habits to do the right actions you'll be the person you want to be and

live the life that you want to live i'm going back to my earlier point about identity and becoming the person that you want to be so in this book he talks about the habit identity feedback loop what that means is basically the habits that you set for yourself will succeed if they form a part of your

identity and who we are or our identity is also shaped by our habits so the way james clear explains it is basically a simple two-step process step one is decide the type of person that you want to be and then step two is just prove that to yourself with small wins so for example if you show up at the gym

five days in a row even if it's just for two minutes you're basically casting votes for that new identity you are a person who's into fitness you are casting those votes every time you go again for the smallest period of time and as those votes accumulate basically as you go to the gym

then you get this self-reinforcing identity cycle where you've got this evidence that actually yeah you are a person who's into fitness because you just went to the gym even if it was for two minutes so things like that there's so much more to this book um but really highly recommend it again this is the second part of how to

live the life you want to live is get the knowledge mainly through books to understand how your mind works how the world works as well but particularly around your internal psychology and the third thing that i had to do to be able to live the life that i wanted to live was to get

inspired and pumped up and motivated basically to believe that i could do whatever i wanted to do for most of my 20s i didn't really believe that i could do whatever i set my mind to i was also around people and again that environment which controls so much but in the environment that i was in i

didn't have any examples of people just doing exactly what they wanted to do i had many examples of people being beaten down by life people being just like fitting into this system that wasn't there like ideal system people who would complain about things people who really were just sort of victims of their own environment but i

had very few examples of the positive side of that which is like you can change your environment you can change yourself out of the environment or you can change the environment around you you have the control to do that but i didn't have the motivation i didn't have the inspiration to lead me

but to believe that i could do that so i had to go out and i had to seek that in whatever way i could find so for me it was also through books i'm sure there's plenty that you could read but i can just recommend the ones that helped me along this pathway

so the first one was think and grow rich by napoleon hill now there's a bit of like sort of a backstory to napoleon hill which i i only found out about after reading the book but don't worry so much about that i recommend just go grab the book as a short read and just go into it with an open mind

and that was the first book that i ever read that was like self-help or self-improvement and really like focus on motivation and some of the parts of the book are getting a bit like sort of wacky but like most of it is really good and it got me in the right mindset to really just to

believe again that this was actually possible i was going to do something that i had not seen anybody else around me do and you just need something to give you the confidence to believe that's possible this is what i try and help you guys with but definitely check out think and grow rich that'll probably do it a lot

better than i can do it some other books that i was reading around the same time it was actually arnold schwarzenegger's biography he just has this crazy sort of like can do it attitude and that's you know the story of his success is him just ridiculously believing that whatever it was that he wanted to do he

was going to do it and then obviously having the work ethic and everything to back that up but you know the success the proof is in the pudding as they say so that was one book that i read and like honestly just go pick a biography of someone that you find to be inspirational

again if you don't have that person in your life around you which a lot of us don't then just find the autobiography of somebody that you look up to someone who has done that and then follow their lead and the third one that i read around this period of time was the magic of thinking big by

david schwartz i believe so it's also another pretty old book but it's good and again you know i'm sure there's lots out there you just need to find something that works for you to get you motivated and get you believing you can do it you can academically know all this and but but ultimately if you

don't have the energy the positive motivation to actually get you up in the morning and get you working towards living the life that you want to live i mean you're not going to do it then so i think i mentioned three things at the start of the video but to be honest there's more than that uh

one of the most important things for me was finally meeting somebody who was actually doing and actually living the life that i wanted to live i literally growing up i cannot think of a single influence where someone really had that dream life that i aspired to and i don't mean the material things

because i'm not a materialistic person what i mean is someone who had the control that i wanted to have over my life and someone who's doing something that just seemed really cool to me i really didn't have that many people in my life growing up or even when i was working and it was literally just a happen

chance passing opportunity where i sat down next to someone on a plane i was flying to work to the mine side um on a commercial flight and this guy started talking to me and he was like my age and we started talking about what we were doing and he was you know he had

some stores and he owned them and i was like you mean you work like behind the counter at the store he's like no no it's my store i have the store it's like how how is this possible i literally did not know anyone who was doing something like this independently for themselves and his

financial goals were you know way further advanced than what mine were at the time i was like how's this guy doing he's like my age he's you know he could be my friend or something but he's he's not the guy behind the counter i was like really couldn't get this idea into my head

anyway he talked to me and to be honest he recommended some of these books that i just recommended to you and it was that like we had this half an hour conversation i went away that was the first i believe the first and not the only but like the first real chance where i'd actually

sat down with someone looked them in the eye who was my age who could be doing or was doing something that i wanted to do and that i could see myself being that person and i really can't overstate just how important that was in helping me to see that i could do this yes all the reflection helped yes

the the books about the knowledge about understanding myself helped motivation helped from from the books as well but it was just seeing seeing that where i could be like hey i could be that guy there's nothing stopping me from doing that and i think the very last thing that enabled me to live the life that i

wanted to live is that i had to let go i was so focused on money and this salary career pathway of like advancing down that pathway even though i hated it i knew i hated it i knew that most of the people around me they hated it too but they're all still advancing down it

literally the rat race when i finally let go of that pathway and went okay no this is stupid like this is not for me i finally stopped caring about money for a little while and that's when i just decided to quit my job it was like the biggest release of pressure and that's when

i basically just cleared all this space all of this baggage and all just you know like fell to the sides fell to the ground and then i was suddenly free and i was liberated and i wasn't worrying about money i wasn't making any money but i had some money saved up and i wasn't spending much money so for

for once i could just stop thinking about it i wasn't focused on trying to get the next promotion or whatever else which was not coming by the way that free freeing myself of that baggage really just liberated me up to actually do all this stuff that i had been you know i've been reflecting and

understanding what was important to me i've been learning about the the building blocks having the knowledge the foundation of like what i would actually need to understand about myself to be able to get that life that i wanted to live and then seeing the getting the motivation as well and then finally seeing somebody doing what i was

wanted to do all of that was helpful but then finally it was just letting go and just being like okay you know whatever happens happens i'm not worried about this stupid pathway anymore i'm not i don't care about money i'm just like i'm just going to actually enjoy life for once and then i started

doing it i started focusing on the things that i cared about i started focusing on my health and fitness because i was a person that cared about that i started focusing on travel and adventure because i was a person that cared about travel and adventure i started trying new things experimenting just like trying different

habits and just kind of seeing what happened and what happened is pretty cool because it all kind of just came snowballing after that not snowballing it took a while to build up obviously but these are the things that have taught me how to live the life that i want to live obviously this is a work in progress

it's a pathway it's not a you know it's not a destination it is the journey i'm still on that journey and actually i've got to go pack my stuff and go catch this plane to go to this island where i'm gonna go rock climbing so i'm gonna go do that i hope you've enjoyed the video

make sure to subscribe if you haven't already done so click the notification bell as well if you wanna get more videos just like this i will probably be back to my normal amazon fba content with the next video but i again i've been reflecting i wanted to share this with you guys thank you so

much for watching and i'll see you in the next video