Why Are You Teaching a Grown Man Emotional Skills?

You're teaching him gentleness and parenting and empathy and how to hear no and you're changing your words and all of this. If you have to change all of these things to communicate with him just to even exist to feel even remotely safe, you're with a man who has this skill deficit. The skills that I've

listed are not small things. emotional regulation and shame and distress tolerance, feedback, accountability, repair, sharing power, tolerating a woman's full humanity, consequences, all of these things. These are skills that make intimacy safe. And when men lack them, women often pay. We pay with our peace, our bodies, our time, our nervous systems, our sexuality, our identity. We

lose our ability to tell the truth, to say no without being afraid. Stronger [singing] than before.