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Let me tell y'all something. The best advice you will ever receive in your life will come from a crackhead. And I live in Florida, our crackheads are top tier, they are built different, so I know firsthand. I was just at the convenience store trying to get some ice, and the guy going in in front of me

was arguing with the crackhead outside, and I know y'all going to be like, "Jasmine, how are you going to assume somebody's a crackhead?" Cuz he was yelling at the guy, "Stop staring at me cuz I'm a crackhead." Something inaudible, "This could be you one day." So the guy said something I couldn't hear and was like, "And I don't do

crack." And then the crackhead was like, "Well, you do something sitting in your skinny jeans with a belt on." Now I'm high waiting. Rule number one of interactions with a crackhead, you never amp them on. So now he like, "Oh, yeah, you like that?" You thought that was funny. So now he yelling after the guy

in the store. He was like, "Why didn't you hold the door open for the fat bitch?" Now I want to go cry in the car cuz what the did I do to the goddamn crackhead to deserve some sort of like that? So as I'm coming out the store, he's like, "I think I upset you,

and I didn't mean nothing by what I said. You know, the weight look good on you. I a lot of fat back in my day." Oh, so I was built for the crackhead gaze. My mental health is doing numbers right now. And he was like, "And always remember, you don't have to be going on

a trip to say bon voyage." So I was like, "What does that mean?" Rule number two of interactions with a crackhead, never ask them questions. And he was like, "What you mean? Bon voyage." And I was like, "Okay." And he was like, "What you slow or something?" So as I'm driving home thinking about the fact