The Anxiety Illusion: Your Brain Invents the Future You Fear

But past hurt informs future fear is really just speaking to the mechanism of the brain and how as humans we've learned to adapt. So it's sensical logical that if you go through an experience that is difficult and painful and hurtful then by design you're going to do everything you can to mitigate the

repetition of that. So past hurt informs future fear. So what tends to happen because of the brain being designed to predict and protect it's it's brilliant for survival. But unfortunately what that tends to do is actually perpetuate the very things that we have been um upset by. >> Right? >> So that's that sort of self-fulfilling

prophecy where whatever you resist persists. Even in the way you tell your story and I know much of it is you know obviously private to you but even the story of loss is just that it's a story. >> Mhm. So I know for myself and I'm happy to talk about anything to do with me that

you know my mom died when I was seven of cancer and then my dad went to work on the boats that we were talking about earlier the feries and he was an engineer and the boat capsized in S bugger just outside Belgium >> and almost 200 people died >> and he was sadly one of them and I'm 17

so within the space of a decade both my parents have died and so to begin with I equally just very human had the story of loss and it was being constantly reinforced by people with all the best intentions saying oh my gosh I'm so sorry for your loss and even a friend of mine would

send me a card every day and not every day but every year on the anniversary of my father's passing you know just thinking of you and so for some people who might not be familiar with my work it might come across as a little bit cold or callous but you didn't lose anything and this is the the unique