stuck in my boomer hometown at 30

I've lived in this town since I was born back in 96. And I can't believe I used to love this place. I'd say it wasn't until I graduated college that things around here really started to wear on me. This place felt so special. I mean, this area of Northern California is so blessed

with natural beauty. Incredible coastline, redwood forests, rivers, different biomes. There's also this very unique culture, this hippie culture that this this town specifically is known for. And like you can feel it in the air. This pride, this cultural pride. I had some really serious hometown pride for a really long time. And that makes it even

more sad that it turned into this deep dark cynicism. I mean, I remember living like a kid from the 1990s, you know, and that that was during the late 2000s, bicycling around town with my friend. no parental supervision, exploring all these areas, talking to random crazy homeless hippies and stuff, getting into stoner shenanigans.

But yeah, as a teenager, I just fully immersed myself in this hippie culture and I I basically embodied it. I started to dress that way, started to act that way, talk that way, use the terms. But I think it was like around my late teens when I started to really get insecure um

about myself that I started, you know, questioning things and started seeing things as like it's not as peachy as I thought it was. You know, there's a serious class divide around here. And even though my dad was a hippie like that, he was not fit to raise a child. So, I was raised by my mother's parents

who were not hippies at all. They were conservative Christians and my papa was a bluecollar dock worker. But like I I I didn't even I wasn't even thinking about stuff like that until I realized that my growth plates had had sealed when I was 12 years old. And then a few years later, I'm wondering why I'm not