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Getting Your Ex Back Is Simple, Actually... — Transcript · YTtoTranscript

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Getting Your Ex Back Is Simple, Actually...

Chris Blundell · 2,238 words · 11 min read · EN-ORIG

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Below is the complete, readable transcript of Getting Your Ex Back Is Simple, Actually... by Chris Blundell on YouTube. Read the full text, copy any part you need, or generate a transcript for any video with our free tool.

trying to find the right advice on reconciling with your ex can be exhausting just searching in Google or YouTube You're Going to be overwhelmed with systems scripts apps guides to try to stop your breakup or divorce and reattach your ex partner back but the truth is that reattas your ex- partner back is way simpler than it's made out

to be in this video I'm going to break down why reconciling with your partner after a breakup is way simpler than you think the true steps that it takes and where you really should be focusing your effort so I get it when you're trying to reconcile with your partner after a breakup there's an overwhelming amount

of information out there right one YouTuber is telling you to do this another is saying don't do this maybe you do both of them at the same time do I do no contact do I take marriage helper or ex-back Jack or the alpha omega attraction system like there is so much stuff out there some of it's going

to be toxic some of it's going to be useless how do you sift through all of this information and actually figure out the right way to attract your partner back without being some manipulative right I get it the truth is is that there's a lot of advice out there and it makes it seem like it's this

overly complicated system to try to wangle your way back into your partner's life but this is a Lie the truth is is that breakups are not complex at all there's three main elements of relationships there's emotional safety which is your intimacy and your ability to express your emotions together there's intellectual intimacy which is

your respect your practical abilities to overcome the day-to-day challenges and then there's your goal Synergy which is your ability to build towards both your goals long term it's very very simple there's a lot of advice out there over complicating these things the truth is when it comes to breakups it's very simple if your partner has broken up

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with you then it means that they don't believe in the potential of the relationship it's because one or more of these elements are broken if you do want to reconcile with your partner the steps are actually very very simple you tell your ex that you want to work on the relationship then you give them whatever

space they want or they need in order to process their emotions their feelings then you reflect on the relationship and work out the things that you need to do to improve yourself and your side of the relationship then when they reach back out or if they reach back out you start crucial conversations in order to start

addressing the issues within the relationship and then finally you keep building yourself and you keep building the relationship these are five very very simple steps now just because there are five simple steps doesn't mean that it's necessarily easy but the truth is is that most people's Focus ends up being on steps one and two they ask

themselves do I tell my ex that I want to work on the relationship do I not tell them do I pretend I'm not interested do I give them the space that they want do I do no contact do I not give them the space that they want the truth is is that there are a lot of

people out there who will take a lot of your money on giving you scripts tactics games to play whilst your ex is wanting to have their space and you can spend so much time and money trying to find this perfect solution to prevent your ex from trying to take the space that they're

asking for this is what my members and I call the perfect solution fallacy instead of doing step three which is reflecting on the relationship and working on the things that you need to do you try to look for a better tactic a new tactic a new script a new manipulative thing to try to get your

partner's attention or to try to reattach them back this is where we start to invent this artificial complexity in our minds this idea that the solution is a lot more complex than it actually is after all if we start to believe that the solution to reconciling with our partner is more complex then

that means that we're not failing at the simple right we're not failing at what it is because we believe that actually there's a lot more going on on the surface but the truth is is that your ex does not believe in the potential of the relationship that is why they are not with you right now and that kind of suck

you know but it's the truth because if they believed in the relationship right now then they would be with you so like I said there's a lot of people out there that are pretending that this situation is a lot more complex than it actually is and they're going to try to over complicate the solution so the most

crucial step is step three this whole self-improvement step is where the focus should be the simplest truth is is that your ex does not want to be with you right now because they are not attracted to you they don't believe in the potential of you and the relationship this may suck to hear but we can't over

complicate this problem we can't pretend that they are attracted to you that they see the potential in the relationship but they're playing games and hard to get that's not the truth so you have a choice in investing your time trying to prevent your partner from having the space or you can invest your time into

what is effective into raising your self-esteem into losing neediness into learning where you can improve and the skills to communicate and navigate your relationship this is where true self-improvement happens and this is where your focus should be because the truth is is that you need to focus on step three the self-improvement step so

that you're ready for when step four happens so like we said most of the time because people spend the time worrying in step one and two they lose ground on step four Because by the time their ex reaches back out which they almost always do for whatever reason or you start spending more time with each other

or being more regularly in contact with each other other you've lost ground on step three by focusing on step one and two which means that you've lost out on developing the skills to break the same relationship patterns within yourself and within the relationship and by the time you get to step four you fumble and

you drop the ball you end up proving to your ex partner that you haven't changed that you're not going to change and that you'd rather spend time trying to prevent them from having space than actually investing in yourself and investing in the self-improvement that you need in order to take the relationship forward there are a lot of

things that you can do in step three to truly grow and self-improve yourself things that will have a massive impact on the way that your ex partner sees you the next time that you do speak reducing your neediness growing your communication skills recognizing the discords that you had in the relationship and being able to overcome

them building empathy building trust increasing your self-awareness growing your emotional intelligence cultivating win-wins and building your ability to cultivate interdependence spending your time focusing on these elements will maximize your chances of

end up growing in the ways that you should and the consequence of this is that when you do fumble the ball and you do screw up the relationship once again then one of two things usually happens first you see that these complex xack systems are nonsense and actually you should have spent more time on

relationship skills or worse you blame your partner for being a narcissist a psychopath a sociopath having bipolar disorder because they can't see the value that you have not been working on you convince yourself that the problem is actually your partner rather than the fact that you haven't built the right skills you haven't improved yourself you

haven't reflected on what you could do better for future relationships ironically spending this time trying to find this no context script so ideas ends up wasting so much time so by the time your partner reaches back out for contact you're in exactly the same position that they left you in and it proves to them that given the chance to

either work on yourself and make true improvements or spend time on the wrong thing you're going to spend time on the wrong thing so this is why it's so crucial to spend time in step three and a self-improvement to prepare yourself for when step four and five happens because ultimately when your partner

does reach out you want your changes to be truly noticeable and you know I understand that this is not what a lot of people want to hear a lot of people are going to want to believe that there is some complex tactical system in order to pull your partner back but ultimately your partner is only going to come back

to you if they see over time that you are reflecting regularly on how you can improve and you're showing through your actions actual improvements rather than some sort of script or tactic your partner is not going to come back to you if you're buying them gifts you know when people spend time focusing on one

and two they try to overly prove to their partner that they are changing they start posting on social media all of these pictures of them in the gym or going out on dates or whatever it is they spend time focusing on appearing like they are working on themselves but these are shallow changes because true

work on yourself actually happens behind closed doors and it happens internally not externally and there are a lot of steps that you can take to prepare yourself within step three and this is what I work on with all of my ultra noral members working on the right skills the right Tools in order to start

changing and growing in the right ways so that by the time your partner does reach back out that you're ready to start a relationship and start showing up in the right way and if you do want to join us then join me on my free relationship boot camp where you'll learn the same steps and tools that all

of my members use to start turning your relationship around today it's free so click on the link in the description box to get started today so you have a choice you can either spend four or five grand on some overly complex system that is going to leave you ultimately in the same place that you were before or you

can spend time and money and invest in the right changes in true self-development in learning emotional regulation and learning communication skills in looking back and seeing where you could improve yourself in order to move forward and a lot of people are going to see this is a bad thing but the truth is this is a good thing because

you can start step three right now so for example if your ex is having space right now then you can start step three and start to reflect on the relationship where it broke down what was your part in it take the time to empathize with why they are not wanting to speak with

you right now because there's a lot of people out there that will have you believe that step one and two is a small window of time where they're going to get away but the truth is with long-term relationships is that when a partner wants space whether it's 2 weeks or 2 months there is not some magical window

where your partner is going to instantly get over you even if they start dating somebody else it doesn't mean that they are fully over you it just means that they are taking the time to process their feelings there's a lot of people out there that will want you to feel panicked into doing something right now

and focusing on the wrong thing to try to control the situation and control your partner rather than controlling the things that are in your control which is yourself and your self-improvement and if your partner is not speaking with you right now this is a perfect opportunity for you to start making the right

changes immediately so that when your partner starts to speak with you again you can show up in the right way so I've actually done a deep dive video on that so I'll leave you with that video and I'll see you over there