Instagram video transcript

Whenever we talk about male violence, there's always one of us men who feels the urgent need to interrupt with not all men. But I honestly want to know, what exactly are you afraid of? Why did you have to interrupt? Why derail the conversation? Nobody said your name specifically. No one blamed you. Women are telling us about being harassed, assaulted, threatened, stalked, and killed at the hands of men.

But your immediate concern is to say not all men? Why? Women are constantly told to be careful around men, to watch their drink, share their location, text when they get home, don't walk alone, don't get too drunk, let him down gently, but don't be too friendly because he might get the wrong idea.

Are women supposed to protect themselves or are they supposed to prioritize protecting men's feelings? When you say not all men, what are you actually contributing to the conversation? Are you changing the culture or are you just demanding that women reassure you personally? I think some men need to ask themselves a much harder question.

Why is your instinct to interrogate the woman describing harm rather than the man causing it Why do you become furious at women for talking about their fears but strangely quiet around men who give them reasons to be afraid Saying not all men tells us something It tells us that when women describe a social pattern

that you hear a personal accusation. It tells us that your first priority is separating yourself from bad men rather than helping women become safer from them. It tells us you're more invested in the reputation of hypothetical men than the reality of what women experience every day. We know that not all men are violent, but enough men are that women have developed entire systems