Video by maxinemeixnerx

To my friend, who isn't my friend anymore, I still think about you. I used to know all your colours and share the same hues, but now you've become a you who I am colourblind to. And nothing bad happened really, we just lost touch, drifted apart. Leaves that fell from the same branch, we got carried away on a different breeze because we got carried away with other priorities. So now

you're not in my life and I am not in yours but before it was like there was this river that just flowed between you and I alive with never-ending conversation a safe space to stream consciousness or confession but we stood on opposite sides of the shore and watched with sad eyes as this river

slowly dried up and died we could have reached out but the space between us grew too wide The river dried up and left us in a drought and I doubt we knew it then but we can see now as the waters turned to sand that our friendship had been deserted. And it hurts but I guess we deserve it We never did what we should to protect and preserve it and it my fault and it your fault and it no one fault at all And now I stuck in this war of pride because I can even decide if I want to invite you back into my life I have so many

questions like how's your brother and your housemate moved out, did you find another and why does losing a friend make my heart ache more than when I've lost a lover? Memories of summers filled with happiness now fill my eyes with bitter tears but I hide behind my veneer and I smile because I am

bitter like a lemon in that I won't let you see it. My sourness is hidden behind my sunny yellow exterior which is masking the fear that I have lost my friend because I am inferior. So I will say that something's been lost for something to be gained in this weak attempt to palate my pain