Video by drjulie

I've been a psychologist for over 15 years, but if you and I only had 60 seconds together, here are the life-changing insights I would want you to walk away with. When someone's words and actions don't match, believe the behaviour. When you set a boundary, people have every right not to like it, and they probably won't,

but that doesn't make you wrong for setting it. Whatever you believe about yourself, your brain will look for all the evidence to prove that you're right. Your thoughts are not facts, and neither are your feelings. Avoidance is the number one thing that's going to make your anxiety worse. Confidence doesn't come first, action does.

You don't wait until you feel ready, you do the thing and the confidence catches up. If you have to shrink to keep the peace, that's not peace, it's appeasement. And you are not your thoughts, you are the one noticing them. Numbing the painful feelings also numbs the good ones. And feeling low is not you malfunctioning, it's information.

Now there's a lot to unpack there, so you might want to hit save, but if you only remember one of these, make it this. Don't wait to feel better before you act. Act and the feeling will follow. I'm a psychologist. Bye for more.