Video by mister_firth

Here we observe the British primary school teacher entering their natural habitat. Sadly, today that habitat is roughly the same temperature as the surface of the sun. Initially, he is optimistic, hydrated, still under the illusion that today may be manageable. By 9.05, that optimism has completely evaporated, along with approximately 70% of the teacher.

Despite only taking the register and saying good morning 30 times, the teacher is now producing enough moisture to sustain a small rainforest. In times of extreme heat, the teacher will instinctively fan themselves with whatever resources are nearby. Today, it is a differentiated maths worksheet they spent 40 minutes making and nobody appreciated. The classroom fan is a vital part of the teacher's survival strategy

This teacher has lived his life via the motto Size doesn't matter Unfortunately, on a day like today, it absolutely does Despite the conditions, the teacher attempts to continue with the lesson This is less a display of professionalism and more a cry for help For a brief moment, the teacher attempts to rest But nature is cruel

And somewhere in the room A glue stick has lost its lid As the children leave The classroom finally becomes quiet The teacher now has just enough energy To sit in silence And stare at a half-empty bottle of lukewarm water