Video by hubermanlab

Some people think what you do is you say, drugs are bad, look at all these things, it's ruining you, you know, it does this, it's hurting you this way, that way, this way. In effect, you're kind of telling the person they're an idiot, right, if you actually do that. So you get them to articulate, well, clearly you like some things about it, what are they?

And put them on the table, well, you know, it's just like my friendship group has always drunk and I would just love those hunting trips we all get, you know, face together. And it's real fun. Okay, so that'd be one thing you get. What else? Tell me. And you're not framing this as a struggle between you as the punishing force that's going to deny that this person has enjoyed something about this or get something out of it socially.

And you say, so this is why, so this is what we need to decide. These are the costs and these are the benefits. It's your life, not mine. You know, do you want to go for this or not? And you acknowledge the grief of those things.