Video by emilyannwillcox

Before you decide to start running there are a few things you should know. Investing in good running shoes is essential. It's cheaper than knee surgery and less humiliating than being slow and poor. Strava is not just an ad. It's a way of saying I'm better than you without actually saying it. You will start talking about running at every social gathering.

And people will avoid you. You're welcome. Ultimately though, running is just foreplay. Of course the true climax always comes from what you put in your mouth afterwards. Winning.