Video by emilyannwillcox

This is what date night as a single 23 year old in London looks like. There can only be one way to properly prepare for a date in London. Start by lowering your expectations and then lower them some more for good measure. And if you also pride yourself on being a complete masochist like me,

then why not start the day with a morale boosting trip to Zara? Much to my dismay, the only pair of jeans that managed to contain my assets came with a fortress of buttons. Talk about playing hard to get. I've been receiving some interesting feedback lately that I need to make more of a concerted effort to stop intimidating people.

And whilst I'm not quite sure what they had in mind when this top was designed, I'm pretty certain it doesn't give off an unintimidating damsel in distress fight. Considering I'm looking for a charming investment banker and not a wrestling man, I thought it best to assemble my trophy wife outfit from home, spent some time getting rid of my massive moustache,

and tried on about 50 outfits which I decided not to wear, just so that I could spend even more time looking at myself in the mirror. When I finally arrived at the restaurant, my date made a very strategic move, testing my mouth-opening capabilities with bite-sized hors d'oeuvres. If the starter was testing the waters, then the main cause was an all-out declaration.

It's almost as if he read my mind. I do love my meat. Of course, when he asked if I wanted more, let's just say he didn't need to ask twice. The only appropriate word to describe today's cause of events is winning.