Video by emilyannwillcox

I'm visiting my African father for Christmas. Why anyone would want to grow up in a stable, traditional two-parent household is absolutely beyond me. One of the many benefits of being the product of a one-night stand is that I've hit the jackpot with double festivities every year. And yet another perk of visiting my father is that I get to be reminded everywhere I look of

just how hot I am. Seen as the prodigal daughter has returned, it's only right that we bond over some pretentious food. Or in the case of my adventurous little sister, a burger. To the rest of the restaurant I'm sure we look like the pinnacle of family goals. I mean what's the point in talking to each other when we can stare at photos of Kim Kardashian being obsessed with

herself? Then again there was a grown man in the restaurant playing on his Nintendo Switch and I'm quite literally filming myself eat at the table. So I guess we're all weirdos in our own little way. One thing I wasn't impressed with though was the service. I might have white taste buds but my

attitude is certainly faced in. Especially when it comes to saving some money even if it's not mine. Frank of Dad Knowing that it was now 1-0 to me My sister then attempted to justify why she was in fact the favourite daughter I'll just let my father's reaction speak for itself We thought it would be fun to pop into the apple shop on the way home

I suppose someone sounded the alarm when they saw black people walking towards the devices So we headed back for a good old-fashioned game of shut the box Of course, when betting money is involved though I can't possibly be nice enough to let anyone else win 2-0 to me Heading back to London, 30 quid up