Video by emilyannwillcox

This is what Christmas Day in the great British countryside looks like. The best thing about Christmas Day is waking up to the smell of freshly penetrated turkey, as well as being woken up at the crack of dawn by excitable domestic tornadoes, otherwise known as my little brothers. Now I know what you're thinking, but I've checked the paperwork and I'm not the adopted one.

Now I can't tell if this is the gaze of an existential crisis or simply pondering the Roman Empire. But of course the only way to find out is to get too close for comfort and pretend that we all like each other for a family photograph. which came out about as well as a peace treaty negotiated by Vladimir Putin,

fueling myself ahead of a very serious battle. Apparently, my mother's idea of being busy is less about running errands and more about binge-watching friends. That is the only logical explanation for her completely kicking my ass. A brief but noble attempt at socialising before retreating to the familiar embrace of screen time. Now, I don't know about you, but I really think there's something spiritual about Christmas dinner prep.

Clearly, I'm not the only one comfortable with handling so many balls at once. Isn't it amazing how we really do honour the age-old tradition of splurging on fancy dinnerware that only sees the light of day for about three hours a year? That could quite easily also be a description for my social life now that I've left London for the holidays.

I was enjoying my pigs in blankets until this startling revelation was made. Look where Willys go! Charlie! Whoa! Personally, that's exactly how I like them. I left no Willys behind, but alas, I was defeated. If you're like me and you end your Christmas day with games and a walk in the countryside, then I think you already know there's only one way to describe this.